Heart On Sleeve

I am a mess. I barely sleep. I don't eat properly. I say what I think then worry that what I said isn't what I thought. I don't care what people think but yet I worry what people will think. I'm frustrated. I'm content. I'm happy yet angst ridden. I'm sick of being a topic for discussion. I want to talk but I don't want advice. My moods are out of my control but I feel I can change them at any time. I try to reassure other people but I'm trying to reassure myself. I want to be nice and polite but I want to give my frank, honest opinion. I'm nice but I'm a jerk. I like being alone. I hate being lonely. I loathe depression but have become dependent on it. I don't want to speak. I don't want to answer. I don't want to listen. I don't want to be sad. I don't want to be happy. I don't care. I care too much. I feel like a burden. I'm withdrawing. I'm paranoid. I think too much. I worry too much. I'm a contradiction.
Take from this what you will.

I'm OK.